In doing some research I came across this blog written by a dancer named Lux.

opens in new window>>  HelloLux

WARNING: This blog contains mature content regarding being a stripper.

For those of you that don’t have time to go to her site (which has now been inactive for over 6 months) it is heart breaking to read. Its basically a diary of her life and the very bad decisions she made and the negative consequences. Here is a snippet of one of her entries…

I bring it up here to address that these kind of opportunities for self destruction present themselves but you don’t have to succumb to them.  It is never worth your safety and dignity to trust a customer to fulfill a verbal contract. You can tell them that they don’t get to touch you up front but who is there to back you up when they try anyway and you tell them no? What if they have a gun? Who will stop them if they try to rape you? What if they invite ‘friends’ over? You may feel that you know some one well enough but why risk it? How much money would you really stand to make?

If you believe in yourself that you are worth every dollar that someone spends on you in the club, you wont be tempted to provide extra curricular services.

Last night was brutal on the ‘ol self-esteem.

I first sat down with a medium sized group of dentists from east Texas and a few dental equipment reps.  I found out that the dentists are looking to build a new office and needing equipment so they flew out here to check out factory.  They were nice but I obviously was not what they wanted.

Sometimes guys come into the club looking for stereotypical strippers. My biggest clue was their use of expletives. Nice looking guys who use a lot of  ’shit goddamn fuck’ to describe a beautiful girl.

So I ditched the table and went on to the next.

It wasn’t any better.

A small bachelor party of 5 guys. The one with the money kept picking up his stack of ones and playing with the rubber band that was around it all the while telling me how much money he and his boys spent in Vegas a few weeks ago. Then he ordered a massive amount of hot wings with a tub of ranch.  Ewwww.  The waitress bugged him about buying me a drink, he conceded, and I ordered. My stage call came and I had to go. No tip from that table.  And the kicker? When I returned to the group, my drink was gone – removed by his request.  Argh! I guess they didn’t appreciate me not drooling over the fat guy covered in sauce.

After that I wondered around feeling bitchy and offended. I sort of put myself in time out for a few minutes to press the reset button.  Once I had reasoned out the emotion, I went back out to the bar.

Thankfully  a couple of good customers came in that appreciated quality and my night ended on a great note.

Plus, I found $40 – bonus!

Perelandra

This is such an important topic.

Recently a person left this comment:

“I drink to get the courage to go up to guys. When I get rejected I get discouraged. I allow them to upset me. I feel like I am not sexual enough with the guys when I am sober since I am not interested in them. I find myself having a normal conversation with them if I am sober and then they can’t take me serious sexually.” ~Anonymous

While it is true that alcohol releases your inhibitions, it has many downsides that I’m sure I don’t need to list.

So is it possible to dance and not drink yet still make money? Absolutely!

Its all about mind set. You can have normal conversations and still get the dance.

For example: I recently met the Financial Adviser to the Prime Minister of Russia. First we talked about motorcycles (building rapport & bonding with a common interest). I then asked for a dance, we did 2 $20 dances then moved into the VIP room for an hour. I danced 3 songs, sat talking about politics and the state of the economy, then finished with 2 more songs. At no time was there any sexual topics discussed or comments made.  Plus we both were drinking water.  Just before he left, he said that if he didn’t live in London, he’d ask me out to dinner.

The not so magic trick is: you have to want to be there at work and willing to enjoy what you do for a living. Otherwise, you’ll gravitate towards alcohol and drugs to put on a mask to cover up the symptoms. But why not just fix the underlying problem?

There is nothing wrong with dancing. With the proper personal ‘rules’ and ‘limitations’ (that you set up for yourself) you can work within your own ‘box’ thus maintaining your dignity and self-respect. Sometimes you will feel that you lose money because you aren’t willing to go as far as the customer wants you to. But it works out better in the end because men with money want someone with confidence and great self-esteem which is the essence of sexy. The only way to maintain your confidence and self-respect which equates to self-worth is to not go beyond your boundaries for money.

Drinking At Work II – Overcoming The Habit

Peace

~Perelandra