On a somewhat slow early evening about a month ago, I managed to get a customer up into the VIP for some dances. This guy was loud and obnoxious and most definitely a challenge. During my dances, I had to break out all the ‘ninja moves’ to keep him from touching where he shouldn’t. Obviously, he was used to getting ‘more’ than what I was willing to give.

He managed to slap my ass once and I let it go but not without telling him to knock it off with a smile.

After our dances, I was getting dressed and he stood up next to me and flicked my nipple. Shocked but not surprised, I slapped him and got mad!

Me: No! You do not get to do that!

Him: What? I bet you are disrespected like that all the time. What’s the big deal anyway?

Me: Disrespected? Sure but not like that. You went way too far! (still scowling)

Him: Oh…um…I apologize. I have more money… Would you like to dance for me some more?

This time I was shocked and surprised. More often than not, when drunk guys get in trouble they start pouting and get bitchy. I knew I was taking a risk at not even getting paid. I thought that by standing up for myself meant no more money for me. But I really couldn’t lose because I still had my self-respect and dignity. His response was refreshing and affirming.

This type of extreme situation rarely happens to me – once every couple of years. However, I do have to stand up for myself quite often.

Even if a guy no longer wants to dance with you, he will usually like you even more and possibly ask you out because now he respects you. If this is the case, you’ll probably need to give him the ‘I still need to make money’ speech to get him to continue spending.

The dirty dancers are the reason behind the ’stripper stereotype’. Guys come in thinking that all dancers are the same. We just need to overcome that stereotype – and we can make money doing it!

Vegas writes:

How do you try to compete with a bunch of girls who do more then just dances? Is there any tips on how to work around that?

So many times I’ve looked in the VIP room or even at the bar and have seen girls sitting on a gents lap or grazing their groin with a knee or watched a guy caress something he shouldn’t. I understand that laws are different in every state and other countries. While this kind of conduct is permitted in a lot of places, my home club is not one of them.

Regardless of your club rules and state laws, there will always be girls there to break them. There isn’t anything you can do to stop it. It happens in every club everywhere. They’re willing to go further than the rest thinking that it makes them more money.

In reality, it doesn’t.

It boils down to self-worth and self-esteem.  These women do not value themselves enough to stand up for their dignity.  There is a certain amount of fear of rejection that keeps them from behaving with class.

When you see girls doing or allowing things to be done to them, in stead of getting jealous that they are making money and you aren’t, look at them with understanding and sympathy. It’s difficult not to judge or condemn them. Try to understand that they aren’t strong enough to stand up for themselves and the money is dirty.

You can still make really good money without selling your soul by quietly going about your business looking for the guys who want quality – not trashy.

-And most of the time, they will be looking for you, too.