A recent comment about drinking at work…

“You are so right! I have been dancing for 8 years and I want to quit drinking, I have to quit drinking I am scared I’m going to lose my husband because of one of my drunken fits. I actually have a reputation for my Tolerance in the club but when I get home I disgust my husband. P.s I only drink at work. If you have any advice I could really use it. I don’t drink for confidence anymore. I drink heavy out of habit. HELP…” ~Starr

Hi Starr,
First, I’d like to say thank you for writing. Recognizing that you might have a problem and being able to talk about it is extremely brave. Don’t lose heart though, there is much you can do regarding this destructive habit that we can all succumb to. These suggestions are not only applicable to alcohol but any abusive substance or negative behavior that anybody can change.
You need to decide whether you need professional help (such as AA) or if this is something you think and feel you can handle. Not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic but this sounds like this is a pretty serious stronghold. Sit down with yourself and have a nice HONEST chat. Don’t kid yourself or try to rationalize why you would or wouldn’t need help. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by being as truthful with yourself. Spend a good hour some place quiet and listen to what your heart and mind tell you.
Recognize that no matter which route you take – it will be difficult. There is a reason why there are tons of support groups. Withdrawal symptoms (physical and mental) and peer pressure will be the hardest battle you may ever fight. Just know that it isn’t something you need to go through alone. If your husband is patient and understanding, he’ll be there for you. No matter what talk to him about what you are going through. He should be your best friend and confidant having your best interest in his heart. Don’t shut him out because he disapproves of your behavior – which has nothing to do with how much he loves you.

Using the Visualization Technique to modify behavior has greatly helped me in overcoming social pressures. Your body has no idea what is real or imaginary. You can imagine common situations that involve alcohol and changing the decision you make. In my book, The Chameleon Dancer, one can find detailed instructions on exactly how to utilize this technique.

One thing you can start doing right now is choose a non-alcoholic beverage that you enjoy drinking. For example: I really like Mojitos – but instead of ordering one, I order a muddled lime and club soda. If I am chewing mint gum, then it tastes pretty close to a Mojito! Try to stay away from Redbull and RockStar (nasty stuff).

Hope this helped and thanks again Starr.
~Perelandra

**UPDATE 6/2010**

Greetings all! I just wanted to update this post with some extremely important information. The above information is the best advice that I had to give but it comes up short.  I still don’t  have -all- the answers to not drinking at work.  However, after listening to several Tony Robbins programs, I have successfully quit drinking at work – to the point that I am completely free from any and all temptation – even boredom!

How did I do it? I found adequate leverage against myself. Allow me to explain.

When I am at home I don’t drink. ( I think I had a glass of wine with dinner at my parents house about 5 months ago. ) So I know that this issue is not a physical addiction but a habitual  one. It started out as self medicating over an emotional break up. I knew that my behavior wasn’t serving me well but I continued anyway. I even thought that moving to a new club would give me the strength to concur my stupid habit through will power.  Wrong. It wasn’t enough – not even close.

I tried using my suggested technique of visualization to change my behavior but it isn’t an acceptable application. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn’t I stop? I know that alcohol is bad for me, has empty calories, and makes my body acidic as well as hurts my money. What was I missing?

2 things: I was focusing on what I didn’t want and not what I wanted and I needed leverage.

So I began to focus on what I did want. I remembered that I danced for years without getting into this negative social trap. And with that success in mind, I began to seek out my leverage.

My word is my bond. Its my honor and self worth as well as apart of my identity. If I cannot keep my word – about anything – I feel weak, out of character and unhappy. It is that important to me.  So if I tell you I am going to do something, I either do it or I will call you to cancel. i have to be accountable. Period.

I told my best dancer girlfriend that I stopped drinking. “I don’t drink anymore unless I am in VIP and my money is on the line.”  I gave her my word! Another key element is that  she works the same days that I do so she’s there to keep me in line and true to my word.

Now, this may work for some of you but not all, I’m sure. You’ll need to find your leverage, your motivation and keep it at work with you.  Start with something or principle that has motivated you in the past.

If you can’t seem to figure it out, I recommend you listen to a Tony Robbins program such as Get The Edge or Lessons In Mastery and start exploring who you are and who you want to become.

To your freedom!

~Perelandra

An interview with Jessica Simmonds, HowToStripper.com

Are you serious Jessica? Are girls still earning good money?
Jessica : Yes they are, but they have to use more of their brain now, so the techniques I am teaching are more important now then before. I have girls everyday telling me that because of my techniques they have started earning another extra $500-$600 a night.

How many girls have you taught so far?
I have now taught over 200 girls all around the world because my techniques work in every club and with every girl because it works on how your customers think and they are the same everywhere in the world.

After teaching a couple hundred girls, how has that been Jessica?
I have to tell you, that although we are all in different countries, the girls all seem to have the same problems, and I keep hearing the same things over and over. How do I get the customer into the VIP? How do I get multiple dances from the same customer? How do I get large tips from the customer…or from newer girls, where do I start? What do I wear?

And can you help them with it?
Yes. I get them to read the book and then I teach them by personal email. I find out in detail how the girls work, what type of club they are in and what they are doing in the club. Then I guide them step by step so that we can look at their result. It really is great when a girl starts earning more and has just learned how she can keep doing that again and again.

Jessica, why do you teach these girls?
I have learned these techniques and found no one else teaching them in a simple way that everyone can use. So I thought I will teach them since I know how to earn a lot of money.

How long have you been stripping?
I have been a stripper for more than 3 years full time. I have also spent time learning how to become better and even went to classes to learn how men think!

Where can they sign up for this course?
They can sign up by clicking HERE. However, since I give the girls a one on one tuition by email I cannot take very many girls so it really is first come first serve.

Well, this is really good! Any last words you would like to say to our girls?
Yes. That I will help in any way I can to get you to earn great money, even in these down times.

Thank you Jessica, hope to chat with you again soon.

There are many eyes and ears in the club. Front Door Hostess, Bartenders, Bouncers, Vallet, and Waitstaff all have the ability to help you make more money.

Here’s how…

Front Door Host/Hostess
If your club has a cover charge then there is someone at the entrance to greet the customers, check for ID and accept the cover charge. These people are the first to see into someones wallet. Now, I know it sounds money hungry but why not take advantage of this fact? Get to know these people and nurture the relationship. Don’t expect them to know to come get you or tell you this info for free. Come right out and offer them a percentage of the money you make when they tip you off to a possible good customer. 20% is my usual offer and I haven’t had any refuse or ask for more. This is key: Be sure to come back and tip them before the night is over so you prove you’re reliable.

Bouncer
The same process can be used with the bouncers. Get to know them a little first so they like you. The bouncers you can just come right out and make your offer.

Bartender/Waitstaff
It’s usually easier to approach a waitress or bartender after a good customer has left. If you can, make sure the customer you are sitting with tips well. This will show the waitress or bartender that you help them make money. Then you can make your 20% offer.

Always make sure that you come back and tip them! Even if its only 4 bucks. They will take notice if you end up doing a dance or not. It will only take one time to stiff them and they wont help you again.
If you happen to forget and need to do damage control, do your best to remember to tip them the next time you see them. They will be sure to remember you the next time someone comes in with a wad of cash!