So tonight, I witnessed a train wreck on stage. I have never in all my years dancing ever see someone fall so…complete. Usually there is an occasional stumble. Acceptable considering the stilts we strap onto our feet and call shoes. And sometimes there is an actual fall where you step on something as benign as a piece of ice on the floor.
But this girl…oh man.
I was sitting with a gent in between stages 2 and 3. Stage 3 happened to be in the background while I was chatting. I see this itty bitty girl with great big 8 inch heels standing on the rack, when suddenly her shoe rolls out from under her. She lands on her thigh/butt on the rail, bounces into a chair, and tumbles onto her ass on the floor. As I jumped out of my chair, hiding my smile, I could almost hear the little birdies flying in a circle above her head! She sat there on the floor stunned in wonderment. I tried to help her up but, being embarrassed, she refused. She got back on the stage, took her other shoe off and ‘danced’ the rest of the set. @_@
I went back to the table and my guy asked what had happened. “Gravity kicked her ass!”, I replied this time not hiding my smile and a chuckle.

Moral of the story?
Being sexy while drunk is impossible and gaining height via stripper shoes should be obtained by gradual progression.

Way to keep up the stereotype girlfriend!

Here’s how this works…

Option 1
You post a comment with the Title and Artist name of your favorite stripper song of all time. I will place the title name in the survey so the world can vote on it.

*If I can find it on YouTube, I will place the video of your music selection in the post.

Option 2
You can play the videos and vote for the music you like best.

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**Explicit Lyrics**

How to Become a Stripper

Warnings

• Don’t give your phone number or real name to customers, or other dancers. They could give away your phone number to clients. It just isn’t safe. Be your persona and *if* you must, have a cell phone that you ONLY use for stripping.
• If you accept a customer’s offer to do a private show in their home, ask if you can bring a friend over, just in case. I don’t believe in this ’service’. It’s never worth the risk.
• Make sure to follow the laws for dancing.
• When first starting on the pole, don’t put your heels on. I disagree with this statement completely! The plastic sticks to the pole making it easier to climb and hold on. I will, however, caution that if you are wearing slip-on shoes this could be dangerous. Wear shoes with buckles or boots to do pole tricks.
• Always clean the pole with alcohol before you start your set – you don’t know where your coworkers have been. You can ask for a towel and disinfectant spray (usually in a bottle) if one isn’t provided.
• Don’t get drunk at work. Sure, it will help loosen you up but if something goes wrong in the back room or on stage you won’t be able to defend or protect yourself. Make sure you only drink an amount that you can handle, or better yet don’t drink anything at all… you are there for a job, not to party. If someone offers to buy you a drink order soda or water. Even one drink can be dangerous.
• Never do “extras” (acts for the customer not allowed by your club rules). You can make money without them and you never know who is an undercover cop, if the manager is watching, etc. If you can’t make money by working clean, find a better club.
• Never use baby oil on your body and don’t put on lotion before you go to work. It will make you slip and fall on stage, as well as making those that follow you do the same. You could get seriously injured. So no baby oil and moisturize the night before or a good many hours before working.
• Hand sanitizer and baby wipes are your friend. After you get off stage or out of the bathroom, and ESPECIALLY after private dances, use this allover. It also makes you taste bad, so if a customer tries something stupid, like licking you, before you can push them off, they’ll be less likely to do it again. And use baby wipes instead of toilet paper (which has lint, which may be a problem)
• For some stupid reason beyond any logic, some club designers think it’s an amazing idea to have black lights. This brings out a lot, like tan lines, plaque, cum stains, and lint (hence the baby wipes). Make sure you stay clean if this is the case (though you should anyway).

Things You’ll Need

• 4″ or more heels
• 3 outfits at least
• Babywipes
• Mints
• Hairspray/gel
• Somewhere to keep money
• Self-confidence
• Fake persona
• Mixed music CD
• Garter
• Rubber band

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Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world’s largest, highest quality how-to manual. Author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Become a Stripper. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.